Embers of an Old Flame
by ThereIsBeautyInTheBreaking
Summary: A/U... Quinn and Puck are on their own paths but the death of their friend sends their paths colliding again and they're sent on a roller coaster ride with their paths weaving in and out of each other lives. In two different places many things can happen and one of them will suffer the consequences of their choices. Rated M for adult themes
1. Chapter 1: Oh Holy Night

**AN: Hello. I am new to fanfiction so I am hoping you'll give this story a 's completely A/U. So I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't any rights to glee or it's story lines.**

Chapter One: Oh Holy Night

This morning, I woke up and it was snowing here in Connecticut. It snowed in Lima before but not like this, so maybe it was something nice to see... seemed dangerous to me. I had just gotten back from Lima for thanksgiving a few weeks ago but for once in my life I wanted to go back. Seeing my friends and Mr. Shue was amazing, mentoring the new glee club was even better. There was just something about Lima that would always mean home.

Everyone was going back for Christmas again and here I was alone with my stupid little Christmas tree. It looked like the Charlie Brow Christmas tree. All of the needles were falling off and half of my lights didn't work. I knew it was going to be a miserable Christmas. I sat down on the couch and turned it on to the ABC Family countdown to Christmas. I sighed. I didn't want to watch Christmas specials and pretend this was going to be a perfect holiday when I had no one to spend it with.

I angrily turned off the television and went into my bedroom to fall asleep for the night. As soon as I had settled down into bed I heard a knock on the door. _Who in the world is at my door in the freaking snow?_ I thought as I threw my blankets off and stormed over to the door. I flung it open without even checking through the peep hole to see who it was.

Standing in the door way was a bunch of Christmas carolers, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" They shouted. I remained indifferent. Soon they began to sing for me. While they were all off key in their rendition of 'Oh Christmas Tree' I was touched. I had to go and make this Christmas nice for myself. It was my choice to enjoy the holidays. I gave them money for whatever church or good cause they were looking for and then checked the time. It was only six in the afternoon, so I went into my room got dressed and headed out.

I drove along the street until I got to the tree farm near the department store. I walked along the few rows of trees trying to find one small enough to fit in my car. I finally found one. It was perfect. A full tree that was up to my waist. It would fit into my car and into my apartment. I knelt down to pick it up and found myself struggling. The tree was a lot heavier than I thought. Suddenly the weight was taken and the tree lifted above me.

I looked up with a roll of my eyes to see a handsome guy standing above me. He had dark hair and light blue eyes, his face was sharp but there was no way you could deny how unbelievably handsome he was. My anger faded immediately, "Um... Hi." I muttered standing up.

"Hi" He smiled revealing perfectly white teeth, "Need some help?" He asked.

I nodded numbly, "Sure... Thank you" I smiled. He helped carry the tree to my car and pack it in. I walked over to the table and paid for the tree and then back to my car where the handsome guy was standing. I noticed his sweatshirt for the first time and saw that it read Yale. "You go to Yale?" I asked him.

"Yes. I do. You do too don't you? I think I saw you in one of my biology classes" He stated.

"Really? With Mr. Green?" I inquired.

"Yes... I think I remember your name... Don't tell me" He thought hard and I couldn't help but giggle a little, "Quinn!" He smiled triumphantly. I nodded, "My name is Ian" He finished.

"Well it was nice to meet you Ian. I have to go, but I guess I'll see you around." I smiled and got into my car waving goodbye too him. Next I headed to wal-mart to pick up some new lights and a few new ornaments for the tree. I also figured I could pick up some cookie dough and coffee since I was almost out and it was snowing.

When I got to the store I got milk, coffee, and cookie dough before I went over to the Christmas section. I was looking over the rifled through items that were left trying to pick out a theme from the things left. I had decided on a candy colored theme being that all they had left was bright pink, green, and blue ornaments left. I picked out a few and headed for the checkout lines.

"Hey Quinn" a voice spoke from beside me. I turned toward the voice and was surprised to see Ian standing there.

"What are you stalking me?" I turned back to wheel my cart trying not to look at him, but I couldn't hide the blush that filled my cheeks.

"No I was picking up some dinner when I saw a beautiful blonde walking to the register and though 'That has to be Quinn!'" He smiled holding up box of pasta and a jar of sauce. I rolled my eyes at him, "I see you're eating healthy" He smirked pointing to the cookie dough in my cart.

"That's desert I was going to call for takeout" I stated back to him. He smiled. "Well... I'll see you around Ian" I gave a half smile walking down the isle to pay for my few items. I carried my bags to the car and put them around the tree so that I could get them easily.

I pulled back into my usual parking spot and headed up to the apartment carrying only the bags I'd bought. I set them down on the kitchen counter and then went back down for the tree. I walked down the stairs to my car and opened the truck to pull the tree out the same way Ian had gotten it in. I pulled from the bottom hoping to get it looser so I could get a better grip on it. However, my boots slipped on the ice and I fell right on my butt. I heard laughter from across the way. I turned around my bitch Quinn mode on and I saw Ian standing there.

"Okay this is getting weird" I snapped helping myself up while he was busy laughing. I got up glaring at him, "Seriously what are you doing here?"

"I live here" He replied walking over to me. I rolled my eyes. _Of course he does._ I thought to myself.

I composed myself, "Then would it be too much trouble to ask you to help with this tree?" I gave him my best flirty smile and he nodded.

"Sure" He easily pulled it out and put it on his shoulder to carry to my apartment. We reached the door and I pulled out my key to unlock the door. He walked the tree inside and then we both walked back outside.

"Thanks for all your help today Ian" I smiled.

He smiled back, "No problem... but I better get back to my apartment... I'll see you around" Ian smirked a playful dance in his bright blue eyes. I watched him start to walk away towards the stairs, but he stopped and turned around, "Wrong way" He laughed and walked up to the apartment across the hall, pulled out a key and unlocked the door, "Goodnight neighbor" He waved and walked in shutting the door behind him.

I stood in the hall for a moment shocked before pulling myself back together and going into my own apartment. When I got in I put some cookies in the oven and turned on the Christmas radio station that played on the television. I set up the tree in it's stand then went into the hall closet and pulled out a box labeled Christmas which I hadn't touched. I began unwrapping the ornaments. When I was done unwrapping the few I had, the timer on my oven rang out.

I walked into the kitchen to pull my cookies out to cool. While they cooled I picked up the glass star off of my table and put it on top of my tree. I then strung the lights and plugged them in. Instantly I felt better about my holiday. At least it finally felt like Christmas. Just as I started putting the ornaments onto the tree there was a knock on the door. I walked over and opened it somehow knowing who it was. I opened the door and Ian was standing against the door with two plates of pasta in his hand.

"Hey there Quinn. I thought maybe I could join you for dinner? I brought food" He smiled.

"Well how could I turn down pasta" I shrugged and let him in.

"It smells so good in here." He stated looking around.

"Thanks... We can eat at the table... I have ornaments on the couch" I stated taking the two plates from him and setting them on the table. "Can I get you something to drink" I offered.

"Sure... what do you have?"

"Diet coke, water, and milk" I laughed.

"Diet coke sounds good" He stated.

I grabbed two cans from the refrigerator and then sat down with him. We didn't talk while we ate, but when we were done I washed the plates before giving them back to him. He took them across the hall and returned quickly. "So you need help decorating?" He offered. I nodded and we walked over to the living room together.

"Cookie?" I asked before picking up any ornaments.

"Sure" He called back.

"Do you want some coffee? I was thinking about making some" I offered.

"Sounds great"

In a few minutes I brought in a few cookies on a plate and two cups of coffee. We both talked about classes at school as we put ornaments up on the tree. I laughed as he made impressions of the teachers that he had. I found out that he was a sophomore and was on a premed track. I told him I planned on being a writer and he nodded. "That's great. I'll be buying your book someday! Can you autograph it for me?" He asked with a laugh.

"That depends... Are you going to sell it on Ebay?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Duh! Of Course" He looked at me and I rolled my eyes, "You know you're cute when you're mad"

I hid my the blush that filled my cheeks, "Thanks... I think" I muttered.

A few minutes later Ian held up an ornament with a picture in it, "Who is this?" He asked pointing at the picture of a baby, "Is it you?" He asked.

I took a breath not really knowing how to explain this, "Um... I'm sure you'll run after I tell you this, but no that is not me. It's my daughter. I had her when I was sixteen. She was adopted... and I regret it everyday, but I know she's got a better life than I could have ever given her." I looked down at the floor.

Ian came closer to me and hugged me, "I'm not going to run... you made a mistake, but you did what you thought was right... You're a smart girl Quinn but everyone makes mistakes." He smiled.

"Thanks... the only thing I regret is that I had her when I was sixteen." I smiled sadly. I loved Beth.

"And the father?" Ian wondered.

I shrugged, "That's a long complicated story." Was all I said and Ian left it alone.

We continued to put ornaments on the tree as music played in the background. My favorite Christmas song came on and I couldn't help but sing along, "_Oh Holy Night the stars are brightly shining it is the night of our dear savior's birth. Long lay the world in sin and" _I stopped realizing that I had been singing out loud. I looked up to see Ian had stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

"Why did you stop?" He asked.

"I don't know" I blushed.

"You're voice is beautiful" He whispered stepping towards me. I watched him and it seemed that time had stopped as he was inches away from me. I saw him getting closer and I couldn't stop him from doing so I couldn't seem to move or breath, mesmerized by his eyes. Just as his lips were about to touch mine my cell phone rang loudly on the table.

I looked down to see Puck's picture flashing up on the screen. I picked it up confused. I hadn't talked to him since thanksgiving and even then things were weird. If he was calling... maybe it was important. I answered it. "Hello?"

"Quinn?" His voice came through the phone sounding like he'd been crying.

"Puck? What's wrong? Are you crying?" I asked.

He took a deep breath, "Quinn... It's Finn... He's d-dead" Puck broke down sobbing on the phone.

I sank down to the couch my hand over my mouth. How could this have happened? The world seem to shrink. I felt Ian sit down next to me. He was trying to talk to me, but I couldn't hear what he was trying to say. The only things I could hear were the sounds of Puck's sobs, my own breathing and faintly in the background the last strains of Oh Holy Night. I focused on the last thing trying to grip onto reality.

_Sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace. _


	2. Chapter 2: Watch it Burn

**Disclaimer- I don't own any rights to glee. **

**A/N- thank you all for your support! I thank you for the reviews and interest in the story. So here is the second chapter.  
**

Chapter Two: Watch it Burn

I didn't know what to say or what to do. Time seemed to stop around me. I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs. Finn was dead. Finn was gone. Now how could anyone cope with this? I could faintly hear Ian saying something to me but I couldn't bring myself to say anything or even understand what he was saying. I still focused on Puck who was on the other line.

"Quinn?" Ian shook my shoulder finally gathering some of my attention, "I am going to go home... I will see you soon... Just call if you need anything." He scribbled something on a piece of paper and set it on the coffee table. I assumed it was his number but I didn't care enough to check. Ian left, I was sure by the sound of the door shutting behind him.

"Puck?" I whispered wondering if he was still there.

"I'm here" He whispered back. At that I laid down on the couch pulling a blanket over my shoulders still holding the phone to my ear. A few tears slipped silently down my cheeks before I closed them tightly allowing myself to slip into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next morning I woke up with the phone still in my hand. It was still on so I lifted it up to my ear, "Puck?" I tried not even knowing if he still had the phone on. I waited. There was a shuffling on the other line before there was any reply.

"Quinn? You're still on the phone? When did I call you?"

"Last night" I replied

"What?"

"You called me last night... You don't remember?" I felt more tears forming in my eyes and I didn't know why.

"Honestly Q... I don't remember anything from the last two or three days... ever since I found out my best friend died just found a little comfort in some liquids if you know what I mean" for the first time since he got on the phone I noticed that his words were slightly slurred when he spoke and he'd basically just admitted that he was drunk and had been getting drunk. I was worried.

"Puck... are you okay?"

He stopped, "WOW! Did you really just ask me that? Oh yeah best friend just died, I'm super! Think I might even throw a party!" I could hear the sarcasm dripping though his voice. I couldn't help the anger that flared up within me.

"Noah-"

He cut me off, "OH! And by the way... The funeral is next Friday Santana, the heartless bitch, texted me last night letting me know and I just thought I'd share. Look. I gotta go... a bottle of Jack is calling my name" The line went dead.

* * *

I dragged myself to school, it was the last day before winter break which I could not wait for. I desperately wanted to get home to be with friends and family after everything that had happened. As I walked to class I wondered how Rachel was doing, I knew that she must be falling apart. I sat down in the lab waiting for Mr. Green to come in.

The lecture should have started thirty minutes ago and I was becoming increasingly irritated that I was wasting my time in this class especially after having to deal with so much after finding out Finn died.

Finally the door opened and a teacher walked in. It wasn't Mr. Green but at least it was someone. He scribbled something on the board and when he turned around I saw Ian's blue eyes staring back at me.

"Good morning. I am professor Channing and I will be taking over for Mr. Green for the of the semester." as he spoke I kept my eyes on my paper. I somehow felt hurt, like I'd been lied to... But why did I care? It's not like leaked Ian. he was just some guy I met on a Christmas tree lot... And let into my house... And told about Beth... I sighed, and I'm screwed.

I spent the rest of the time taking notes and hardly listening. When the bell rang I jumped out of my seat and went to the door, desperate to get out of that classroom. I didn't have another class so I hurried to the cafeteria to grab a coffee to calm me down and help me think.

I was pulling my cash out of my bag when a hand reached around me to pay. I turned to thank the person, but saw it was Ian. I rolled my eyes and started alkali away but I heard him following.

"Quinn, I can explain" I kept walking, "Quinn please just stop for a miniute. I need to talk to you" I kept walking. "Quinn!"

I turned, he was making a scene "what?" I snapped.

"Please just let me talk to you and explain-"

"explain what?! Why you lied to me?" I glared at him.

"I didn't lie to you Quinn... I just... Look I like you okay? I didn't want to scare you off by telling you that I had already graduated from Yale or that I was getting ready to take over for Mr. Green which is why I knew your name when you said it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you Quinn." Ian looked upset.

"I don't think it's appropriate for us to be speaking Mr. Channing" I snapped.

"Quinn," he sighed giving up, "you're right. Goodbye Ms. Fabray"

* * *

Later that night I was packing for my trip to Lima when there was a knock at the door. I sighed knowing who it was when I opened it, but instead there was no one, just a bunch of roses. I picked them up and read the card 'Quinn I'm sorry -Ian'. I walked over to the trash can and threw the roses in the garbage.

I grabbed my purse, suitcase, and keys walking out of the door to head home but this time it wouldn't be for a good reason. Our group would be missing someone and not a single person would be completely happy. We were missing someone. Someone who had made an impact on all of our lives.

I got into my car and drove out of the parking lot and on to the highway. Hours later I pulled up to my house. No lights were on. Not even the porch light. I got out with my purse and suitcase before walking up to the door and knocking. No one answered and I wasn't sure where I should go from here. I looked under the mat and luckily our spare key was there. I unlocked the door and walked up to my room easily falling asleep.

The next morning my mother woke me up with hugs and a huge breakfast. I knew my mom was just trying to comfort me but it wasnt really working. I was still upset though. Being home just reminded me of Finn. Every where I turned there was another reminder of him and the fact that he wasn't there and I hadn't even walked out of my house yet.

I ate my breakfast and then headed out to meet everyone at the choir room. When I got there all of our friends were standing around the piano. Santana, Mike, Tina, Mercedes, Sam, Puck, Brittany, Blaine, and Kurt who was holding on to a teary puffy eyed Rachel. I felt awful for her so I entered with caution offering Kurt and Rachel hugs. I took the only space available beside Puck. He immediately put an arm around my waist. Instinctively I leaned into him and he placed his head on top of mine.

At this moment I couldn't focus on the failed relationship Puck and I had, I just needed him to hold me and we could help each other get through losing Finn.

It was silent for the longest time before Rachel finally could speak, "Thank you all for coming back. I really appreciate the love and support you're all offering to Kurt and I amd our families... I know that this is hard for everyone-" she choked and couldn't finish so Kurt picked up, "we love you all and we'd like to ask that if leading up to the funeral you'd all perform a song for Finn. Music was always the best way we expressed ourselves and we hope it helps... We have some things to finish up but we'll see you all tomorrow" they both exited before anyone else left. Slowly everyone trickled out until just Puck and I were left.

We'd been standing the same way for the longest time and I had to wonder if we'd ever move. Finally he let go of my waist to take my hand. "Take a walk with me?" He asked. I nodded. The two of us walked hand in hand down the hall without speaking. It was only when we'd reached the memorial in front of Finn's locker that we stopped. We both looked at the various cards and flowers and candles. All of it was sweet and surely sincere but none of these people really knew Finn like we did.

Puck spoke up, "This is sorta cheesy you know?" he pointed to the memorial, "They don't know him... to him he was just a good quarterback on our stupid football team. To us, he was a friend... a leader... someone who was forgiving. I mean he forgave us after we lied about Beth to him. If he forgave us for that I think he might be the most forgiving person on the planet" Puck gave a bitter laugh.

I sighed, "You're right... they didn't know him." I sat down on the floor and reached into my purse. I pulled out a picture of myself from when I was big, brunette, had glasses, and braces... basically from when I was a loser. I took the wallet sized photo and placed it beside the other pictures. I saw the questioning look on Puck's face so I opted to explain, "This is a picture for me before the nose job and before I died my hair... Finn gave me back this picture when we graduated. I'm not sure where he got it from, but he gave it back and told me 'I thought I liked you better like this, this picture is real... but I realized that this right here and now is you and who you're supposed to be. I'll miss you Quinn' And then he hugged me" I felt tears in my eyes, Puck knelt down and wrapped his arms around me.

"Its going to be okay Quinn... It's going to be okay"

* * *

The next day we all met Mr. Shuester in the choir room with the new glee recruits. Everyone took their turn singing their songs for Finn. I was touched by Mercedes rendition of the song Finn sang to my sonogram of Beth, and then Kurt's song was beautiful as well. Santana stood to take her time to sing, she started off beautifully but right in the middle her voice cracked and she broke down into tears. Puck stood immediately to go to her side but she screamed bloody murder before running out of the room. Everyone stood worried and Kurt opted to take care of her and ran out next.

Puck sang his song next and his performance brought tears to my eyes. He sang to a chair that Finn used to sit in everyday in glee. When I stood I thought I had known what I was going to sing but I really didn't anymore. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes letting me just feel the moment and try to feel Finn with me. "As you all know Finn was my first boyfriend and I really did care about him. While the relationship didn't work, I don't mind... he taught me a lot about love and life... he helped me every time I fell off the tracks. He was the best friend I ever had and I will forever miss him" I sang 'Where do I go from here' by the supremes and found that when I was done more tears slipped down my cheeks.

"That was beautiful Quinn... thank you" Mr. Shuester got up and gave me a hug just as he had all of the others. I hugged him back and then made my way out of the room. It quickly became suffocating in there. I couldn't believe that just a year ago we'd all been sitting there together singing Christmas songs and trying to win the tree decorating contest. I wiped tears from my eyes as I exited the building and went to my car to go home for the night.

* * *

It was Friday and I dressed in a simple black dress, curled my blonde hair, and just a little make up. I slipped on my black flats and headed down stairs to leave. My mother was dressed as well, I was going to be driving her to the funeral as well. The two of us got into the car and I drove to the church in silence. When we arrived I took a seat with the rest of my friends toward the front. I sat in between Puck and Brittany, Rachel was on the other side of Puck and beside her was Kurt of course.

Within minutes the service started. The only ones to stand up and speak about Finns life were Finn's mom, Burt, Kurt, and Rachel. Just twenty minutes and they were done speaking. It almost seemed wrong that his whole life was summed up in twenty short minutes. I stood with everyone else as Burt and Carol exited. We then took turns coming to lay a rose on top of Finn's coffin before being led out of the room with everyone else. I didn't even realize it until Puck let go that he was holding my hand. He walked away with Rachel and I stood alone.

I watched everyone walk around talking in hushed whispers. I just couldn't take this anymore. I walked over to my mother, "I need to go home... can we please leave?" I begged. My mother nodded.

"Why don't you say goodbye to the family at least... I know it's a lot Quinn but it's worse for them. You should at least say goodbye." My mother suggested. I agreed.

I walked over to Burt and Carol, "I'm so sorry for your loss." I hugged them both tightly, "I know you've probably heard that a million times today... but I really am sorry... I wish there was something I could do to take away the pain from you both... I'm so sorry" I hugged them again with tears in my eyes before walking over to Kurt, "Hey... I know we were never really close, but I know Finn was your brother... I'm sorry Kurt" He hugged me.

"Thank you Quinn" He gave a sad smile.

"Do you know where Rachel is? I wanted to say goodbye and make sure she's okay before I went home"

"She went to her car with Puck to get something I think... They're parked just around back if you still want to say goodbye." Kurt shrugged and turned his attention back to his parents.

"Mom... They're outside... I'll be right back" I stated leaving her to talk to someone from our church.

I walked out back and saw Rachel's car parked but I didn't see either of them. I walked up to the car and immediately wished I hadn't. Inside Puck was on top of Rachel. Both of their clothes lay around the car as they took out their sadness and loneliness with sex. I couldn't help but feel my heart break. Through everything we'd been through I thought that Puck and I were growing closer but that obviously wasn't true. He wasn't interested in me at all. I ran from the car, thankful I'd worn flats, tears were in my eyes. I got back into the church and went up to my mom.

"Mom. I'm going back to Connecticut... I have to go back now... I can't be here anymore." Each breath I took felt like it was stabbing me. I couldn't think straight. I felt angry and hurt and I wanted to cry all at the same time. I needed to get out of here, I felt the room closing in. "Please I have to go. Please" I begged needed desperately to get out and breathe. My mother took my hand and we both left.

As soon as we got back to my old house I grabbed my suitcase hugged my mother and got back on the road. As soon as I hit the highway I felt my throat open up and I sucked in a deep breath. I drove focusing only on the road. I was more than happy to drive in silence as long as I could avoid my thoughts and avoid Lima forever.

I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex late that night. I walked up to my door and several more bunches of flowers were in front of the door. I didn't even have to check to see who they were from. I walked across the hall and banged on the door. I waited a few minutes and knocked hard again when there was no answer. It didn't occur to me that it might be late as I waited for the door to open. Finally it did and I saw him standing in the doorway. Without saying a word I stepped into him and kissed him with every ounce of strength I had left in my body. I felt his arms wrap around me and kiss me back. I kicked the door shut behind me and let him lead me further inside leaving all of my morals at the door.


	3. Chapter 3: Sink in the River

**Disclaimer- I don't own glee or any rights to it. **

**A/N- I hope you enjoyed the last chapter I mean what's a story without a little drama? Or a lot of drama...  
**

_Without saying a word I stepped into him and kissed him with every ounce of strength I had left in my body. I felt his arms wrap around me and kiss me back. I kicked the door shut behind me and let him lead me further inside leaving all of my morals at the door._

Chapter Three: Sink in the River

The next morning I woke up in Ian's bed, but Ian wasn't there. I stared at the ceiling for a minute trying to conjure up some type of guilt for what had happened last night but I had none. I liked Ian, Puck didn't care about me, I wasn't in a relationship, I was on birth control, I was eighteen so this was legal... there was nothing to regret. I got up and peeked out of Ian's room, "Ian... do you have a t-shirt I could borrow?" I asked from the doorway.

"Yes." He called back, "They're in the second drawer under the t.v" I walked over and put on one of his t-shirts before coming out into the living room. "Hey there sleepy head" He called from the kitchen as I realized that he wasn't in the living room, "I'm making bacon and pancakes." He smiled. I smiled back.

"Thanks" I walked over to him, "This is a nice apartment you have" I stated trying to make small conversation.

"Thank you... but you know we should probably talk about what happened last night because I'm a little confused. First you yelled at me for lying, then you left for a few days without telling anyone and then you show up around eleven at night and jump me." Ian raised an eyebrow wanting a response. I took a breath and leaned against the counter.

"Well... I was angry at you... but to be honest I was sort of a mess all around that week. I left because I went home for a funeral. One of my best friends died... and it was hard because he was only nineteen, just like me." I took another deep breath, "I came here because I needed to take my mind off of it and I know that this was wrong but I don't regret coming here Ian I want you to know that so please don't be mad."

Ian stepped away from the stove and stood in front of me, "Quinn... I'm glad you did come here. It means that you were thinking of me when you were not even in your right mind so how could I be mad?" He smiled. "So... after breakfast would you like to do something? We could go walk around somewhere." He suggested.

"But you're my teacher. What if someone sees us?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Who said we'd be here? There's no school... and if you're not busy maybe we could take a drive to New York. It's only about an hour and a half away." He smiled again and my heart fluttered. For the first time in a long time I felt wanted and so that's what made me nod in agreement falling deeper in with Ian than I ever meant to.

* * *

_PUCK'S POV  
_

I held Rachel's hand as we left the room. She couldn't stop crying and needed someone strong to hold on to, someone who could at least keep it together in front of her. We walked into another room for the Hummel family and Rachel to accept condolences. Rachel made it through one person telling her that they were sorry for her loss before she lost it. She started crying again uncontrollably. I took her out of the room and back to her car letting Kurt know if anyone asked just to say that she'd gone to get something from her car.

We walked outside to the car which she got in the back of pulling me with her. We sat in the backseat for the longest time, her head on my shoulder. Finally she started to speak, "I just can't believe he's gone. I'm so alone and just... broken. Kurt is hurt too which means that I don't really have anyone to be here for me."

"Well I'm here" I whispered.

"You'd rather be with Quinn and you know it." Rachel spat back.

I took a breath, "No I wouldn't Rachel" I tried to keep calm as I spoke. "Quinn and I are friends, we've moved on" I tried not to think of the moments we'd had together in the past year since we'd left Lima. It was a lie saying I didn't want to be with Quinn at all, I did but who was I kidding? I didn't have a shot in hell with her. "I'm here with you which is exactly where I want to be" I finished.

Rachel looked up at me with her puffy tear filled eyes before leaning forward and kissing me. I let her kiss me unable to stop myself from kissing her back. As this progressed I felt a little wrong about what I was doing. This was Finn's girl and here I was again stealing her. I let Rachel lift my shirt over my head and kiss my neck. I unzipped her dress slipping it off of her in the crammed car. In minutes we were too far gone to ever stop. Just as I was about to reach my climax I lifted up my head and from the opposite window I could see the reflection of Quinn looking in on us. I saw tears in her eyes and couldn't look anymore. I kissed Rachel again letting go any regret that I had left.

The next morning I woke up still in the car with Rachel laying on top of me. I shook Rachel gently, "Rachel? Hey Rach wake up" I whispered. She stirred on top of me and looked up into my eyes, "Hey... How are you feeling?" I asked stroking her hair.

"I-I'm okay" She whispered, her voice hoarse. "I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"Taking advantage of you" She replied.

I tried not to laugh, "Look Rach if anyone was taken advantage of here it was you... not me. We were both upset and not in our right minds." I shrugged.

"Yeah... but... I don't regret it..."

"Not even the fact that it was with me?"

"Especially not that" She smiled for the first time since she'd come home and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Do you want to do anything?" I asked her.

"Well," She pondered, "I'm kinda hungry"

"Okay then lets get dressed and I'll drive us over to the diner"

* * *

Ian and I drove into the city, "so have you ever been to New York?" He asked me.

"Yes, I was here when my glee club made it to nationals a few years ago. We didn't win but hey it was fun to see the city. The other time I went I wasn't really in the city parent. I was visiting friends who go to NYADA." I shrugged.

"oh... That's nice... The last time I was in the city was when I was fifteen. I was with my dad... It wasn't a lot of fun. It was for his job so I didn't get to see a lot of the city. Maybe since you've been you could show me around" He smiled.

I nodded, "I'll do the best I can" He reached over as he drove and took my hand. I felt butterflies at his touch. As we drove I started to think about this entire situation that we were in. He was my teacher. What was I doing? He was perfect to me though. He was sweet, kind, handsome... _STOP! _a voice in my head yelled out _he lied to you!_ I thought about the fact that he had told me that he was a teacher and the entire thing just didn't make sense. I took a breath to calm my scattered thoughts. I decided to just enjoy this moment and let myself feel that warm feeling of being cared for again.

"So where should we start?" Ian asked.

"Times Square, but you probably want to park a little farther away from times square otherwise it gets expensive" I replied. Ian found a parking garage a few blocks away and the two of us walked down the street still hand in hand.

We made it to Times Square and I just couldn't help the rush that came from being in the city. The quick pace just added an energy to me that I hadn't felt in a long time. We walked down the street looking in the windows at the clothing, jewelry, and vendors. I felt invigorated as we moved about the city. I stopped when we reached Sax on Fifth Avenue.

"Can we go in here please? This is one of the stores you almost have to go to when you go to New York" I smiled brightly.

He looked at me for a minute, "Sure" He opened the door for me and we walked in together. I immediately took to looking over the racks taking in all of the colors and designers that lined them. Of course I couldn't afford a sock in here but it was nice to experience such an iconic store. "Wow... there are some really nice things in here. I thought I'd hate this store but it's actually nice" Ian commented walking along beside me.

I was surprised that he didn't say anything about the astronomical prices, but then again he was a professor... these prices were probably nothing to him. It wasn't my business. We walked along looking at things and taking in the scenery. It was nice to just be in a different place with someone new especially after Finn dying. I needed a new start and I was beginning to think it was with Ian, but it was hard to be sure when I felt my heart was all over the place.

We walked around a bit more before we left the store. After the store we walked down the street holding hands until we got to a pizza place. He opened the door for me and I couldn't help but smile. Such a simple gesture to show that he was a gentleman and I loved it.

* * *

_PUCKS POV_

I took Rachel to the diner and we sat eating. She didn't talk as much as she usually would which was good since I probably wouldn't have been listening anyway. All I could think about was the dejected look on Quinn's face as she walked up to the car and saw Rachel and I together. I felt more guilty than I ever have before in my life. Quinn meant everything to me and I didn't know it until I sat and let every bit of guilt come onto me.

"Rachel, I haven't been completely honest with you" I started setting my cup of coffee on the table in front of me.

She sighed and set her fork down, "I know what you're going to say Puck... You regret what happened with me because you wish it was Quinn. You love her and there is nothing wrong with that. To be honest, I regret everything too. What we did was wrong. I mean how could I do that to Finn!" She put her head in her hands.

"You're right that is what I was going to say... but Rachel don't feel bad... Its going to be okay. Finn is going to understand when you move on someday. I know that now seems soon, but it's me." I shrugged. I wasn't sure what else to say without getting either of us emotional about the loss of our friend.

She looked up at me and from the look on her face I could tell she was going to change the subject, but what she asked I wasn't expecting. "So what are you going to do about Quinn?"

I didn't say anything for a long time. I didn't know what I was going to do about her, but I knew I had a lot of work to earn her trust back after what she'd seen, "Well," I started, "I think I'll start with I'm sorry"

"What?"

"She saw us"

Rachel's eyes widened, "Oh."

"Yeah. So... I don't know that I'll ever have her back but I guess I have to try right?"

"Puck I want to tell you something. In losing Finn I have learned that you have to cherish love. You cannot spend one moment being angry or waiting or hurting because you never know when it will be their last day on earth. So I think you need to do everything you can to get Quinn back if you really love her Puck"

I smiled, "Thank you" I reached across the table and held her hand, "You're an amazing girl Rachel. Finn was very lucky"

**So this was a short filler type chapter but I think that the rest of the chapters will be in third person. Please review this chapter. Thank you for reading! I promise the drama will get better! Stick with it my lovely readers!  
**


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